Warm Horizon

Taking Responsibility for Ourselves Ultimately Necessary to Conquer Depressive Tendencies

(The information from this point until the end of the program has nothing to do with treatment of depression. It is only an attempt to help readers learn to help themselves decrease their vulnerability to the illness. Again, the measures introduced have been reported or experienced to have been useful in helping depressives to achieve this end.)

It is critically important that we take ownership of our vulnerability to depression, as well as of the other challenges we face in our lives. It is hoped by this point in the program that this requirement has become obvious to all of us who had not realized it previously.

The primary reason why we must take ownership of our depressive difficulties is that

Once we fully accept the endeavor of resolving depressive tendencies as our own, we will automatically experience less resentment toward the caretakers and pertinent others who had roles in “helping” us to develop our vulnerability, as well as experience an increase in self-esteem—that we are acting independently and with newfound integrity.

By declaring that our depression—and vulnerability to it—is supposed to be in our lives, and thus exists because we need it to and actually had the key role in bringing it about, we can rid ourselves of any notion that we are a victim of the childhood circumstances out of which our tendencies resulted. Indeed, this is a big step to take—to perceive our problems with depression as being born for our own good, and perhaps even as a blessing. But I believe it is a step that we who are vulnerable to depression must take. And I suggest that in taking that step we are positioning ourselves to fulfill one of our main purposes for living—to embrace and ultimately rise beyond our vulnerability to depression.

Probably the greatest benefit from taking ownership and thus responsibility for anything is that we eliminate our need for others’ approval and/or ability to make decisions in the quest to solve our problems. Depending ultimately on ourselves to solve problems keys our achievement of healthy independence. And after all, we are the only ones who can legitimately solve our problems since others cannot legitimately assume accountability for us. That is, when others act on our behalf, they do not deal with the consequences of their actions—we do! Thus, when problems result because we have allowed others to act for us, it results in resentment of them and shame for us (with anger at ourselves) that we looked to them over ourselves for problem-solving. Moreover, we are still faced with resolving the original problems, which may be further complicated as a result of acting on others’ faulty advice.

With this predicament in mind, the art of problem-solving seems reasonable to pursue. And the first point to understand about problem-solving is that there is no single method to use. We all will approach it in a slightly different way—our way. Any time we look to the self to accomplish something, our individuality will be reflected. And this is exactly what we want! Any use of the self affords it expression. And this is how we learn “who we are”—through self-expression and our progressive perception of the nature and quality (quality in terms of uniqueness, not performance) of that expression.

Not only is there no exact method for use, but different opinions can usually be found of what constitutes an acceptable solution to any one problem. Therefore, it is important to practice the art of problem-solving in Section II. There you are provided with a step-by-step framework from which to work, but you must fill in the blanks. Thus, whether problem-solving comes natural, or not, it is recommended that everyone use Section II as an opportunity to practice the use of the self in this particular endeavor. And don’t worry about whether you are doing that which you choose correctly, or adequately. Simply engage in the process and let your self make decisions on its own. It is important to remember that everyone can problem-solve, it is just that some do so in longer ways than others. But if you carry out the process as will be suggested, you will in essence be celebrating the importance of your self—an activity that is always therapeutic, no matter how insignificant it seems. So get busy and give your self the attention and exposure it deserves.

Remember: You must be unique and important. Otherwise, you would not—and could not—have been born. Think about it. (Even identical twins are unique—as separate and distinct spiritual individuals.) Now is a good time to demonstrate the truth of that statement. And any genuine attempt that you make will automatically be successful in that demonstration.